Trouble

Ok, I have lost all of a grand total of ............(drum roll please) .9! POINT 9, in case it is so small you can't see it!! UGH UGH and double UGH.

I was on Spring Break this week and I took two classes (which I completely enjoyed) and worked out the other days on the elliptical. (a total of five workouts). I also went swimming twice with my daughter. Now, she's three, so we aren't doing laps mind you, but at least I am more active (and getting in a bathing suit...YIKES). However, the scale refuses to budge. I am about to do something drastic! I haven't decided what that "something drastic" will be but probably something to the effect of cutting out all carbs (except vegetable carbs which are natural). I have changed over to a vinaigrette over ranch which I don't enjoy as much....but hey, you do what you gotta do. I am eating more grilled meats, more grains, more salads etc.... I drink plenty of water. (12-14 glasses a day---most days.)

My husband supports, uses and sells these cleanings products called IsaGenix. They work GREAT! They cleanse you, they provided well-balanced nutrients and as a by-product of cleansing you out, you lose weight. They have a 9 day cleanse and a 30 day cleanse. You eat one sensible meal a day and have a meal-replacement shake (or bar) the other two meals. They also have supportive nutrients and snacks and stuff to help you through it. Then one or two days you fast but drink these concentrated juices to keep a balance.

My hubby lost 30 pounds in 30 days doing the program. The first time I did I lost 16 pounds in 9 days. Then, like any other diet program, I deviated, lost interest and gained it all back. SIGH! I may go ahead and do another 9-day cleanse and see if that will at least kick-start my metabolism. I have never had a metabolism. It would be nice to have one.

But here's the biggest trouble I am facing. I think my marriage is falling apart. We had some-what of a talk tonight. I feel like none of my needs are being met and he feels like none of his needs are being met. I suggested we write down three things we need from each other and then work on meeting those needs this week for each other. He said the only thing he needed from me was to be left alone. I started crying. How can we go anywhere if he doesn't need or want me anymore? He didn't have an answer and the ugly truth is just lying there between up--driving us farther apart. Divorce. Is that where this is heading? I don't want that for myself and I sure in hell don't want that for our daughter. Although, truthfully, I already feel like a single mom most of the time. She spends 99% of her times with me (when she isn't is school etc...).

Well, I am going to finish this post and power down for Earth Day. Hope many of you are doing the same.